It seems like people talk a lot about the idea of loving oneself. People “love” themselves, so they post pretty face selfies on Instagram. They “love” themselves so, as proof, they write long Facebook statuses and tweet about it until their fingers are numb.
Recently, I started to wonder if that actually counts as love. Since when is love purely on the surface? From what I understand, love is something to be nurtured and even acted upon. So if I just say I LOVE myself, is that enough? Not really.
So I decided to take the terminology one step further. I decided that it’s important not to just love yourself, but to be unshakably IN love with yourself. I’m talking about the burning, passionate, agonizing love that makes you want to give someone the world and then some.
So then I had to decide, how do you treat someone when you’re in love and how does that translate when that someone is yourself? Well, here’s the top five I came up with:
1. Forgive Your Shortcomings
When someone has your heart, to the outside world they can do no wrong. Think about this. No. Wrong. Let someone criticize your man for that little bit of weight he gained after the holidays. You would go off. So give yourself the same treatment. Okay, so you still can’t fit into your jeans from high school. And? You haven’t paid off that last credit card. So what? That doesn’t take away from everything you’ve already accomplished or what you know you’re capable of. So forgive yourself for all of that and move on. Love is blind – especially to the little things.
2. Spend Time With and Prioritize Yourself
After a long day, you know whether you need to listen to someone’s drama about their man or their job or whatever. Take your own inventory and ask yourself, “Do I just need a quiet night where I can be alone with myself?” If the answer is yes, do it. Put yourself before your responsibilities to anything or anybody else. If your special someone needed you, you would put things aside and take the time to just be with them and help them rejuvenate. So be sure to put yourself first and know when enough is enough.
3. Become Your Own Biggest Cheerleader
Let your boo thang get that promotion at work or finish that home improvement project he’s been working on since you met him. You know you’ve never been more proud. Now just try to think about your accomplishments in the same way. You finished that assignment and the clients loved it? Go ‘head, girl! You got dressed to go out with your friends and you got your hair to look perfect? YASSSSS! No matter what you accomplish, big or small, celebrate it! You can have a mini dance party or text your mom or whatever, but just take every opportunity to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for the amazing human being you are.
4.Treat Yourself
If you know you’ve been working your entire behind off and there’s something nice that you want – try getting comfortable with the ideas of treating yourself. Every once in a while, just surprise yourself and walk out of a store after paying full price for the shoes you were waiting to go on sale. Do you like flowers? Every grocery store has them. Just buy them and put them on your dresser or kitchen counter. Where they came from won’t make them any less beautiful.
Are you stressed out? Run yourself a hot bath and climb in. I don’t personally understand reading in the tub, but just stare at the ceiling if you want. You can do whatever helps you unwind. So try to learn when you’re in need of something nice and then just do it for yourself. That way, even if you DO meet someone and fall in love, you won’t have to wait for them to figure you out – you can still make yourself happy by knowing how to treat yourself.
5. Keep Yourself Looking Fabulous
The word “fabulous” is relative, but you know what look you go for when you’re trying to put your best foot forward. If you like to get your hair or nails done for your man, but you don’t actually have one, then keep doing it for you. If you’ve got a special date outfit you’ve been saving for that “special occasion” then rip the tags off and wear it for a night out with your friends. That way, it can serve two purposes: (1) It’ll make you feel confident and sexy and (2) You just might bump into someone you can get dressed up for next time. Take every opportunity to look and feel flawless because you are. And you don’t need anyone to tell you that.
So that’s all I came up with. Maybe you do other things when you’re in love, but guess what? You can do whatever works for you and makes you feel valued and appreciated. So (especially if you’re unchose), the next time someone asks if you have someone special in your life, tell them you are completely head over heels IN LOVE with one of greatest human beings on the planet.