First off, let me explain my situation: I met my boyfriend in 2008. His mom found out I wanted to become a nurse and referred me to a school in Puerto Rico. Two years into the relationship, his mom told me once more, “You need to go to Puerto Rico.” Call me crazy, but I was in love and in my mind you only find true love once or twice in a lifetime and I was not going to jeopardize that. Now, fast-forward to April 2012, the month before I graduated from college. I decided that since I was not going to physical therapy school, I needed to make some moves. I felt stagnant, like I needed to DO something drastic and out of my comfort zone. That “something” was moving to Puerto Rico.
My boyfriend and I played it cool. We were going to make this relationship work, 1,547 (to be exact) miles apart from each other. Two years later, do I regret coming to Puerto Rico for my nursing degree? Absolutely not, I needed to do that for myself. Do I regret putting that strain on my relationship? Yes, I do. Was it hard to stay in the relationship? HELL YES! When I asked my boyfriend for “advice” to give to other couples about long distance relationships, he said, “Don’t do it.” I asked him once more and again the response was, “Don’t do it.” He finally said, “Break up until its done.” But, honestly, when I sat down and marinated on his advice, it made sense. The arguments, the hang-ups, and the complaining was rough. We made it work, but everyone doesn’t always make it. Here are a few tips we had to learn:
Communicate.
I think that’s self-explanatory. Talk, Skype, FaceTime, text, email, Facebook, Glide, Snapchat, tweet…etc. There are so many ways of communication these days, use them. You have to make time for each other.
Send pictures of yourself to your boyfriend.
You have to keep your significant other’s attention. Dress up [or dress down] but get in front of that camera and work. He’ll like that.
Make financial sacrifices.
Sometimes, we have to make the sacrifices that include our wallets. My boyfriend switched career paths and entered the culinary world. He moved to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for an internship, but also to be closer to me. Flights from San Juan to Ft. Lauderdale can be insanely cheap (under $200 round-trip.) For you, that financial sacrifice may just mean driving or flying to see him in his city.
Be relationship-secure.
You can’t have a long distance relationship and be insecure in your relationship —sorry if you thought the opposite. When I left him in Georgia, I was good. I knew he wasn’t going to stray away, because that’s how strong our relationship is. Only you and your significant other will know the strength of your relationship and don’t let anyone make you feel indifferent about that. Make sure you and him have a conversation about cheating. Break up if need be and when you two can be “regionally” closer…try to pick up where you two left off.
But ultimately, make it work. You and your significant have the recipe at making your relationship work. My advice may not work for you two, so create your own recipe at making your long distance relationship work, especially if you want it to stay together.
Credits: Ms. Sara Kelly