“The more you overthink the less you will understand.” -Habeeb Akande
As much as I love being in love and having someone to share love with, I can’t stand the thought of being married. Seriously, all is well until we start talking about forever (Forever? For ever ever? And ever ever?). Mostly because, that’s a mighty long time. Especially when it comes to
- putting up with someone else’s shit and
- being on your best behavior.
Think about it—”For better or worse, till death do you part.” After two trips down that aisle, I figure I’d better stop lying to these fools as well as myself. Getting married is easy. It’s BEING married that’s hard.
Often times when we think about marriage, we think about all the good stuff: having a companion, splitting bills, having children, live in sex, bigger tax returns, _____________ (feel free to add your own bullshit reason that I didn’t include.) The “better.” But rarely do we ever take time to consider the “worse.” We just assume that whatever it is, we can handle it. We’re going to make it. That’s cute. It really is. Because that’s how it SHOULD be. You should be able to rest assured in your faith and hope in your higher power that love will be all you need. After all, it IS the greatest of those three, isn’t it? But as you keep living, you begin to see that how life SHOULD be isn’t always how it IS. Sometimes feelings change or lines are crossed and egregious transgressions occur. What do you do now?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. I bounce. *cocks head to the side* What? You thought I was about to go Iyanla on you, beloved? Nah. Not hardly. See, I’ve been there, done that. Had my passport stamped and am cool on ever returning. I don’t have time for more “tests and trials” to make me “strong.” Love is supposed to be my refuge from the storms of life. If my union is incapable of providing the solace necessary to weather them, what is the real point? See…I told you I think too much. But I can’t stop, won’t stop. So I’ll just remain #unchose. 😉